Hi! I'm Kannade and this is me, online. This is where I feel the most comfortable being myself. This blog is primarily a personal/recovery blog. If you're interested in my fandoms, follow kannadesfandomreblogs, linked farther down on this page.
emotional abuse is when someone does something to hurt you, and when you express your feelings, that you’re upset, they turn it around to be something you did to hurt them and they force you to apologize for it, and your feelings, like always, are rendered invalid and silenced, forever damaging the ability to trust others with your feelings because they always are used against you.
It’s amazing. I’m not depressed. I’m just sad. It’s been forever since I’ve felt one feeling without the other. It’s been a rough day emotionally, but no depression. I’ve still been able to function. Just sadness.
Just sadness. Is this what normal people feel like?
Bertie: Listen to me! Listen to me!
Lionel: Listen to you? By what right?
Bertie: By Divine Right, if you must. I am your King!
Lionel: No, you're not. You told me so yourself. You said you didn't want it. Why should I waste my time listening to you?
Bertie: Because I have a right to be heard! I have a voice!
Lionel: Yes, you do.
I’m at a coffee shop and the internet just cut out during a webinar (back on again, obviously). I just want something reliable. That’s why I came to [coffee shop] instead of [sandwich shop]. Cause the internet at the other location has been iffy recently.
…instead I’m anxiously waiting for my Dad to get home so we can move furniture back into my room.
So about a month ago my doctor added Abilify to my current anti-depressant. And it has worked wonders for me. I’ve started practicing piano again (technical exercises, no less!) which I haven’t done consistently in 5 years, I’ve started cleaning and organizing again, which has always been a key part of my personality and housekeeping style but which I had lost over the past 5 years or so due to depression and bullying. I’ve started cooking again. In general I’m just starting to feel more like myself again than I have in years.
Around Thanksgiving, I got a cold. Actually, it was a relapse into a cold that I had delayed about a week and a half earlier. And I was up many nights in a row with coughing fits, waking up and being awake for several hours around 1, 2, 3…
Well my sleep patterns haven’t changed much. I’m still falling asleep, exhausted, between 10pm and 12am, then waking up around 3, 4, 5… the earlier I wake up, the more chance I have of going back to sleep after being awake for a few hours. But I woke up at four this morning and by 5:30 still hadn’t fallen asleep. So since I have to be at work by 7:30 I figured I would go ahead and get up.
I haven’t felt any restlessness in my legs, but RLS can be a side-effect of Abilify and can manifest as insomnia. I went to the doctor on Monday, and am scheduled to see him again in a month. I think I’ll keep track of my sleep patterns, and if and how often I wake up in the middle of the night. I don’t know if this is insomnia or restless leg syndrome as a result of the medication or if I’m suddenly just a morning person. We’ll see.